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I told you so!

What a great country we live in! South Africa, 10 years into democracy and the Rand/Dollar exchange rate finally allows me to get amputee pornography cheaper via mail-order than buying it locally. I love amputee porn. It's highly entertaining because amputees don't have four limbs like normal people and therefor the sex scenes are slightly different and may leave the odd viewer feeling uncomfortable. But hey, it's great to see that amputees can make a buck or two again since there is no fucking way I'm trusting them with my garden.

Wait! Was that hate speech or humour? Did anybody chuckle and imagine a guy with one leg and a weed eater?

If you did you're probably an anti-semite or a racist or god forbid a homophobe. Now, I know, the homosexual issue is big at the moment, I mean, how can you discriminate against arse pirates in this day and age when people are starving all over the world under the oppression of the politically correct masses who believe that fashion is more important than just another genocide in some African country that nobody has ever heard of. I mean, the only reason the white "world" community hates Zimbabwe is because they crack down on pillow biters. Luckily for Mugabe there's not a lot of Jewish fags in Zimbabwe or he would face an imminent strike by the entire might of the Zionist Israeli/United States men in uniform. Sure, I hear you say that Bush hates fags and wants to neuter every one of them and then put them in Guatamano Bay with little cute orange overalls and shock their testicles every hour on the hour to make them talk. Huh? Does that not sound like a fag wanting all fag action for himself so he can beat off in front of his alcoholic daughters. Bush: a closet case if there ever was one.

But anyway. I will try not to offend the zionists because I will probably have a Mossad death squad smashing through my bedroom window before this dispatch of Radio Free Fuck You is completed. So to appease the racist state of Israel I offer my sincere apologies and would like to say that you have great oranges, which you probably grow on the mass graves of those pesky and annoying Palestinians, I mean, terrorists. Fuck, just imagine the wonderful orange grove we could have on Robben Island if we just murdered all those terrorists that were held captive there instead of letting them free and run the country. I coulda been eating Mandela on a hot Sunday afternoon next to my chlorine filled pool. I feel cheated because all the oranges I've had lately were sour and I had to disguise the sourness with vodka.

I love Vodka. But where was I?

Hate speech, of course! Now I am not a hateful person. Perhaps simply because I am too lazy to actually give a fuck about what other people do with their miserable lives. I am so void of hate that I don't even vote. I'm a true pacifist. I jerk off on Saturday mornings to cure my hangover and scare children with my hairstyle.

But now I live in this wonderful 51st state where everybody has gone politically correct crazy. You can't say ANYTHING anymore without the fear of reprisal by the thought police. Everyone with the slightest sense of humour and healthy dose of apathy towards the fascism of political correctness are being attacked. Why, just recently a local South African talk show host was found guilty of hate speech because of a comment he made on that ultra-mega-stupid snuff film "The Passion Of the Christ". The local contigent of Christ lusters went nuts and took him to court. The "I want to deflower Christ" crowd won. The local talk show host *gasp* was indeed the black reincarnation of HITLER! His television show was the modern version of Nuremburg. All this because he said something not really that offensive OR funny about a jew that all the orthodox jews hate. Christ! Excuse the pun.

But let's go back in time. About a month a go a website that was decidely Christian and also decidedly anti-lordsOfTheRing was removed from the internet(the internet: the new District Six!) because it violated the AUP code. What is the AUP code you ask? Simple, it's book burning in digital format. And the atheistic liberal masses rejoiced because finally their voice have been heard. But... oops. Isn't it now now illegal to also be an atheist? Isn't it illegal to have any thought of your own? I mean, you can't say anything about fags or Christ or that stupid bitch Manto because she's black, even though I doubt that she's anything more than a lizard wanting to eat only non-AIDS infected eggs but I could be wrong and maybe she lives off only AIDS infected eggs. Dear readers, I will investigate and keep you posted on Manto's eating habits.

My point is. Let us not censor the minds of people who have something to say, no matter how offensive it may be to your petty beliefs. "Hate speech" is just that. Speech, not an action that will hurt anyone. Surely by now we as a collective human race have learnt to distinguish between what is entertaining, what is absurd and what we, as individuals believe in. There is no need to start a witch hunt, because I am truly bored of Nazi movies especially since I saw that Polanski crap, the Piano Jew, or something, I can't remember. Censorship is the ultimate lack of faith in the human spirit. Hate speech ain't hatred if you laugh at it like a pack of hyenas pointing their snouts at the speaker. As a matter of fact, censorship should be censored.

THE ARCHIVES OF PAIN

I am so fucking happy I can beat myself with a stick
Sticks: Is there anything they can't do?
Argh. I'm fucking hungry and I can't walk
All I have in life are tazos and a massive collection of disease inducing condoms.


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