Dispatch!

I have just had a fucking karate kid type of awakening. I got real drunk and swaft and was laying on the couch when my cellular telephone device made a sound. I turned to give a bitchy parent teacher sorta it's not my kid that has ADD it's you whom is the fucked up teacher look at the smug fucking bastard of a phone when I realised that if I had a generic kinda stick I would not only be able to poke at my phone to make it stop, BUt by golly I could actually drag it towards me and see who was irritating me with some stupid bullshit!

See a stick will never fuck with your emotions...EVER! They always the same...a fucking stick is a stick is a stick. How many other things can say that they have that sorta ultimate usefulness riddled with utter uselessness at the same time? A razor is not just a razor anymore....it's either a BIC disposabel....DISFUCKINGPOSLE .... pack of 5 that comes in sunshine orange or hot pink or a MACH 12 mega triple action ceramic based blade super razor 5000 that can even fly type razor... not just a razor!!!!

Sticks will never let you down or THEY WILL DEFINATELY NOT FUCK YOUR GIRLFRIEND EVEN IF HE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND AND THEY WERE JUST DRUNK AND IT WAS A MISTAKE...I'M NOT PROJECTING ... FUCKING FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK!!!!! I HATE YOU HILDA...I HOPE YOU DIE AND I WANT MY FUCKING R.E.M BOX SET BACK YOU WHORE. I LIKE MICHAEL STIPE TOO YOU FUCKING CHARLETTONE!... this is a promise. They are kind and gentle but at they drop of a fucking dimebag they could get all Chuck Norris aggresion type medievil on your asshole and beat you to shit! They can be used as a replacement for sporting goods if you are poor and impoverished and the man is getting you down. Like for example you could use it as a cricket bat or a javelin if you had the desire and unused creativity!

Facts!!!!

(a) Sticks come in an array of colours and sizes to suit your every need.Got a sassy neighbour that always park in yer driveway... try a 2m x 1,6m stcik from ... lets say a Australian Gumwood tree for size and bash the cunts windscreen the fuck in.
(b) They are more devoted to you than a blind persons Goldern Retriever.
(c) refer to Fig 2.3
(d) sTICKS HAVE GIRTH AND VIGOUR!

sO NEXT TIME YOU SEE A STICK ... RESPECT IT FOR IT'S GREAT DESIGN AND UNFATHOMABLE VERSITILITY AND BE GLAD IN THE LORD GOD OUR SAVIOUR!